no paint

Well, folks that about it for my short story writing days. I may add a few chapters later on, but for now I just can’t keep the momentum. It isn’t that I don’t have ideas about where the story is headed. If anything I have too many. No the trouble is, I don’t have the time. You see, I am stuck. I am not getting much of anything done these days, least of all painting. I have completed a sum total of one, yes one painting this semester, not nearly the grand finale I was counting on to graduate soon. At this rate I might take another year to graduate, because, let’s face it, no work means no show, and no show means no diploma. Follow?

I can’t exactly put my finger on why it is I am not painting. There are numerous factors. Moving into the house and selling the old one play top of the list, along with being a good father and husband to my family. Sickness has also been a persistent factor. But if you were to say, “why haven’t you been painting?” I couldn’t point to any one. In fact If I had to single out a culprit I would say it was depression, depressed that I’m not painting that is. How do you like that for irony?

Sorry as it seems I am absolutely true. The more I don’t paint, the more I don’t paint, and the more I don’t paint the worse I feel about it. The worse I feel about it, the more I don’t paint, and so on until I am in the exact spot I am in right now.

J. suggested taking more time to paint, but of course that only meant that the universe sent even more reasons not to paint. Painting puts demands on everyone, not the least of which is J. who gets stuck with the kids and the house etc.

Another huge problem is I really don’t have a place to paint. The easel sits out on the porch right now and whenever I go out there to work I am at the mercy of small children, the weather, everything. I can’t get work done. I need a studio. There is no studio, which means it has to be built, which means more time not painting. Really everywhere I look is painting frustration. Why am I not painting right now? It is too cold and damp outside and there is nowhere to paint inside. I could go to the other house but J. is sleeping and I need to be available for the kids. There is no Internet over there so If I need to research an image or pull up a resource that isn’t available either.

No I am afraid I am in a bit of a spiral sinkhole right now. No creativity means, the juices are not flowing, and by juice I mean, of course, paint.