J. and I watched Cool Hand Luke Saturday. (Sorry about the long quote)
“Anybody here? Hey, Old Man. You home tonight? Can you spare a minute? It's about time we had a little talk. I know I'm a pretty evil fellow... killed people in the war and got drunk... and chewed up municipal property and the like. I know I got no call to ask for much... but even so, You've got to admit You ain't dealt me no cards in a long time. It's beginning to look like you got things fixed so I can't never win out. Inside, outside, all of them... rules and regulations and bosses. You made me like I am. Now just where am I supposed to fit in? Old Man, I gotta tell You. I started out pretty strong and fast. But it's beginning to get to me. When does it end? What do You got in mind for me? What do I do now? Right. All right. [Gets on knees, closes eyes and begins to pray] On my knees, asking. [Peeks up with one eye, waits. Then opens eyes and crosses arms] Yeah, that's what I thought. I guess I'm pretty tough to deal with, huh? A hard case. [Clicks tongue] Yeah. I guess I gotta find my own way.”
I love this movie. I enjoyed the irony of showing up the church the next morning only to discuss Job in church class. Luke is a kind of modern day Job.
I vacillate between feeling disappointed and feeling like none of it matters. I find solace in making art and have been on a tear, painting large canvas and small alike with passionate abandon.
I think the message is we don’t get to know why we suffer.
Someone once told me that suffering is a symptom of our spiritual separation from god.
I focus on the four noble truths
1. Life is suffering and 2. Suffering is caused by desire or attachment but that 3. It is possible to stop suffering 4. There is a path to get you there. And that suffering will decrease the further along the path you go (though it may take many life times)
I tend to blame others for my pain. It is easier that way
“Smite me oh mighty smiter”
Freud talks about his patients as people who are unable to see that part of their life that is causing them pain. The long and short of this is, we dwell in ignorance of ourselves.
The further from pain and suffering I feel, the less I blame others.
It is in these moments of clarity that the truth reveals itself. Suffering is not something to be endured. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks.
1 comment:
Interesting comparing Luke to Job. I always thought of him more as a Christ figure. One of the best examples is after the egg eating contest he lays on the table in a crucified pose. He also tries to escape three times, I believe, if memory serves correct. Dragline is his Judas. There are more examples I'm sure I'm forgetting. It is a great movie. One of my faves too. You should teach a Summer class on it in LS. I'd show up for that!
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